When I birthed this blog I wanted to write 2 entries every month.
I failed.
I guess I'm okay with that?
My last entry was May of 2010 and its now March of 2011.
WOW.
How did that happen?
Adderall!
Sometime ... about the same time as my last blog entry ... I decided that it was definitely time to treat my ADHD. For those of you who do not know ... ADHD stands for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.
Really - in the spectrum of ADHD ... I think that I have ADHD.
A lot of people are very surprised by this. (Stop laughing!)
I was never diagnosed as a child ... but I think this is only because no one my age was diagnosed. We were just "hyper". Fortunately for me I had this inherent need to be good and to succeed so I believe I compensated for my disorder with over the top organizational skills. I made list and then I made list of my list. I methodically charted out my study and project calendar. Just knowing that on Wednesday I had two hours calendared and set aside to work on my Political Science project would allow my brain to somehow focus on studying for the final exam in Anatomy on Monday. (Some people may call my coping methods Obsessive Compulsive - but that is another disorder and for this entry I'm attempting to stick to just ONE of my disorders- bear with me)!
As it turns out - treating my ADHD has changed my life. I'm better at work and a lot of stress has been lifted from my shoulders just by merely medicating my condition. I forge ahead at all the task I usually procrastinated ... employee reviews - for instance. Any methodical task such as that one - that required more than 3 minutes of my concentration regularly got shoved to the back of my work drawer. Also, I can now stay on top of all the information (useless information to most people) that is swimming around in my brain everyday. Information regarding various insurance coverage issues, age limitations, quirky illnesses that cause heart problems, chair one is the brother to chair six and their mom is in room 9 with their 16 month old triplet sisters...stuff like that. The best part? I can usually pull to the front and regurgitate out my mouth the information that is pertinent and requested of me at any given moment. It is a MIRACLE!
What is NOT to love? Well ... there are some sacrifices to be made ... namely I notice that the drug has zapped every creative notion right from my mind and body. I have NO desire to scrapbook and I do not feel the least bit guilty for being ridiculously behind with my photos. "Eh! Afterall they are all in cute little photo boxes that I bought at Michaels- some of them are even dated - it will be alright". I have zero desire to cook ... which is a creative venture no matter what anybody says. Sewing? Pshhh! SO ... you can imagine where the blog went!
ADHD medications are a controlled substance. This means they are locked up behind the pharmacy counter and your doctor cannot "call in" the prescription. There are no PRN refills either. A new script has to be written and picked up every month and then delivered to the pharmacist. I have a reminder set in my phone that lets me know when the time is close to set all this up ... but the reminder alarm sounded while I was in Utah with Lacey visiting colleges. Long story short-I took my last pill yesterday and went without today.
I am a mess! My thoughts are all over the place and whenever I talk- I babble on and on. I had to MAKE myself stop talking. Fortunately we were slow at work today so it didn't really manifest itself to my co-workers (at least I hope it didn't) but in my head I really felt chaotic. I should add that I'm fairly certain it was worse chaos than I ever experienced before taking the medication. Maybe if I continue to skip the medication - it would all calm down? At any rate - its the weekend so I think Ill skip it until Monday and just see what happens. In the meantime ... just take a listen to my non-medicated ADHD brain...
* I have ADHD * Sometimes I think its just ADD but really I know that I cannot ignore the capital and bold H so I am just going to own it * "Own it" That is something Lyndsi Shae would say. Lyndsi Shae is on a mission for our church in California. She owns her missionary experience too * My oldest son Corey is also on a mission - he is in Nicaragua and he will be back home to me soon - but not soon enough. He is my only child who I never once described as hyper * I'm pretty sure most of my kids - if not all of them - have ADD or ADHD * Bradley is medicated * During Bradley's screening the doctor asked him (as he was hand driving a toy motorcycle all over the office and making vrooom vrooom noises) if he spent a lot of time in the principal's office. Bradley said "No Ive never even been to my principal's office and guess what? My principal's last name is Nutting. Isn't that a funny name? But I do have a special desk in the hallway outside my classroom!" * The doctor smiled - maybe laughed - and began to discuss treatment options * I don't want Bradley's creativity to be zapped * More than that - I don't want Bradley to do poorly in school * More than that I don't want him to be an annoying brat to his teachers * There was a time in my life where I would be riddled with guilt about having him on medication for ADHD * I am glad I've mostly let go of stupid guilt * I've made a lot of mistakes in my life. Some big ones and a lot of small ones and a few huge ones * They're my mistakes and I don't blame anyone else for them * Fluoride is an ion that bonds with the hydroxyapatite found on the surfaces of your teeth * I'm hungry so I'm done here. *
